Emotional Healing and the Passions: Our Shaky Nature
January 18, 2011
This series, Emotional Healing and the Passions, will explore how the Passions and past experiences interfere with a life of joy and peace, how healing these hurts and disappointments improves our current life and our relationships. And, we will understand the role the Passions play in this process.
Living life in communion with God is the surest way to live in joy and peace.
What exactly is a life of joy and peace?
- It is living in God’s grace which strengthens us to navigate the unpredictable disappointments and challenges life inevitably brings.
- It is confidence that we are making right choices with the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
- It is loving others even when they do not meet our expectations.
- It is living a life free from the bondage of past hurts and disappointments.
No matter the quality of our relationship with God, the actions of others in our world affect us. This includes our family of origin, spouse, peers, teachers, ministers and clergy, employers, society, government, nature. The list goes on. Most people have been hurt in some way by the world around them and suffer as a result. You might be aware of your own suffering or subconsciously struggle in your relationships with your family, peers, the world, yourself and with God as a result. You might be experiencing anxiety, depression, anger or relationship problems. Consequently, one might not live a life of joy and peace.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
~ 2 Corinthians 12:9.
According to St. Thomas Aquinas, “Grace builds upon nature.” What happens if our nature is shaky?
Unless we heal past pain and disappointment, our access to God’s grace is blocked or restricted. Healing past hurt clears away those obstacles, widening the pathway of grace. This will enable you to benefit fully from God’s grace, have strength in the face of tribulation and disappointment, and experience joy and peace.
In the next article in this series, Healing Emotions and the Passions, I will provide guidelines to help you answer the question, “How do I know if I am suffering if I’m not aware of it?”
Patti M. Zordich, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist and Director/Founder of Triangle Psychology Services, a practice
in Cary, NC with a mission to integrate psychology and faith. www.trypsych.com 919.342.3458
The Challenge of Marriage
January 11, 2011
Marriage is a beautiful gift from God.
“Really?” you say? I know, on some days, some months, even some years, it’s difficult to believe this.
You’ve probably heard the saying, “God doesn’t make junk.” Everything God creates is beautiful. It is our human nature that affects the quality or experience of the gift.
Because of our human nature, marriage does not always appear or feel beautiful. Sometimes it feels like a desert or a thunderstorm or a never-ending gray day. Sometimes we wonder if God really led us to marry this person! And if so, why?!
As with all of our gifts from God, they are given to help us grow in the Spirit, to become more Holy.
In marriage we are challenged to see the face of Christ in our spouse. It challenges us to practice acceptance and forgiveness with our spouse as Jesus accepts and forgives each of us. Marriage challenges us to move outside of ourselves and to let go of what we want and what we think we need.
Ultimately, we are called to bring the light of Christ, the love of Christ, to everyone we encounter. What better place to practice than within our marriage? If we can do this with our spouse, then we could do it with anyone, right?
This isn’t easy, especially when you have been suffering for a long time. Sometimes I get the question, “But God’s grace should be enough.” We must remember what Aquinas said, “Grace builds upon nature.” Nature is our humanity.
Guidance from a marriage therapist can help you and your spouse sort through the confusion, hurt and anger. It might be that one of you chooses to seek individual counseling first if the other spouse isn’t open to outside help. Talking to a spiritual director or advisor can help a spouse individually or the couple together and that, in turn, helps the marriage.
When possible, seeking both counseling and spiritual direction is how you will find the most help for your marriage.
Most importantly, turn to prayer, scripture and the sacraments for strength and guidance. Remember – you are not alone in this struggle. Let yourself be open to the transforming grace of God and be ready to take the next step with Him in the path of healing He offers you.