Spiritual Parenting: God is the Boss…
February 5, 2010
In addition to talking and walking, 14 to 18 months is the time children learn to relate to others. This is the time you can take an interest in the things your child likes. Often parents become preoccupied with whom or what they want a child to be as opposed to appreciating who God made them to be. In this fast-paced and competitive world it is vital for parents to focus, not only on attending to their child’s mind and body, but the spirit as well.
By age 2 or 3, children have gone from not walking and being non-verbal to walking and/or running and using words. They begin to request people and things verbally. This presents parents opportunities to understand how much freedom to allow and when to help as the child explores. There can be confusion with the parents’ need to protect and the child’s need to explore. Spiritual parenting beckons a parent to understand that God planted this need for exploration and He helps along the way, enabling the child to take age-appropriate risks as parents stand by (close by).
Proverbs 22:6 (NIV) says, “If you start children off in the ways they should go, they will not depart from them.” As your children become aware of the people in their lives, it is a prime opportunity to teach about kindness and consideration of others. Parents support children as they learn to bond and attach to people in their world and form strong and supportive relationships.
As the child moves into the preschool stage, ages 3-5, their circles of relationships are expanding. Of all these relationships, the most important is with the parents. There is a distinct line of authority in the child’s life and it is the parent’s job to define this through their actions and words. My wife and I often explained to our daughter that God is the boss of the parents, parents are the boss of the child and the child’s job is to simply learn. When leaving her with caregivers we briefed her on the order of command to prevent her from changing the hierarchy should an opportunity present itself.
Parents must look to the Bible and the Church for understanding and to develop some level of conviction regarding the benefits of authority for their children.
I recall several occasions when my daughter, age 4 at the time, feared sleeping alone in her room. Her mom and I told her the story of God’s call for Joshua to be “strong and courageous,” when he assumed leadership from Moses. Following this discussion, we prayed together for her to be a courageous butterfly princess. She would typically fall asleep shortly after the prayer but on occasion we would return and pray again as she may have a little more difficulty falling asleep.
Spiritual songs and stories are great for this age group. The Bible is full of stories about kings and queens, heroes and heroines, good and bad, right and wrong. Also, several preschool-age issues can be settled with spiritual references.
There are also many children’s Bible songs that provide parents and children opportunities to sing about God’s creation: “Blue skies and rainbows…” and about God’s magnitude and power: “He’s got the whole world in His hands…”. I believe you’ll be amazed and refreshed as you experience these Biblical songs and stories through the eyes of your children.
The next installment of our Spiritual Parenting series will take us into the elementary years. This period will present more challenges and more opportunity for growth.
